Tag Archives: american horror story

January Horror Block

It’s that time of the month where horror goodies arrive in my mailbox from lands far away!*

*Canada

All this horror in one box!

All this horror in one box!

Another Rue Morgue. I’m not super into the horror mags as I probably should be, but they do give me something to read on my lunch break. I am excited about The Twilight Zone comic because who doesn’t love The Twilight Zone?

I'm quickly getting a nice stack of mags to read.

I’m quickly getting a nice stack of mags to read.

This month was a double shirt month. On Twitter, Horror Block had teased there would be a Child’s Play themed item and this t-shirt is it. I am willing to give this shirt away (it’s a ladies L) because since 1988 I’ve been scared of this movie. No way in hell I’m wearing this.

NOAP

NOAP

I caught the first few episodes of American Horror Story: Freakshow, but I haven’t kept up my watching of it. For me, AHS is a lot like the Star Trek movies: the odd numbered seasons are the only ones I can watch all the way through.

I'm always here for American Horror Story shirts.

I’m always here for American Horror Story shirts.

The design on this shirt is only ok. Certainly not as awesome as this little number I wore this weekend:

I should have been the Supreme

I should have been the Supreme

Do you know how hard it was to push the flower into this figurine’s hands? The theme of this box was “Things that are Difficult to Do” as you will soon see. I’m kinda “meh” on this, though.

I forgot Living Dead Dolls were a Thing

I forgot Living Dead Dolls were a Thing

Another thing I’m kinda “meh” on. MadBalls are ok; I guess they’re trying to come back? I’d give this to my kid if I wasn’t afraid of him swallowing it. This one is named Eye Sore.

I also forgot MadBalls were a Thing.

I also forgot MadBalls were a Thing.

I can’t tell you what this one is named because I couldn’t get the damned thing open. What happened to plastic eggs that you could just pop open? Wtf do I need to twist it for?

It looks like a PokeBall. Too bad it didn't open like one.

It looks like a PokeBall. Too bad it didn’t open like one.

And that’s January’s block!

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“Don’t make me kill you again.”

American Horror Story Ep 1: Pilot

In beginning my re-watch of AHS, I’d forgotten how much happens in the first episode. Ben cry-sturbating, Burn-face Larry, Rubber Suit Man (RSM), Vivien quickly getting pregnant…all were things I thought happened later in the season. But with a series as ambitious as AHS, it makes sense that the pilot episode would throw as much stuff at you as possible to get you interested in the story. I think it goes without saying there will be spoilers, although I’ll try my best not to spoil too far ahead of the episode I’m reviewing.

On to the horror! Of course the most overt horror is the obviously haunted house. Very rarely in horror movies are haunted houses single-family pre-fab homes smack in the middle of the suburbs, just down the street from the local Target and Yogurtland. This house hits all the standard horror landmarks: Victorian, creepy attic, even creepier basement, and abandonment. The previous owners being murdered in the center room is just icing on the haunting cake. It is also confirmed the house is haunted with the appearance of the twins who were killed at the very beginning of the episode.

There are also threads of more subtle, every day horror that are the undercurrent of the episode, of the whole season. Vivien experienced the horror of pregnancy and childbirth to a stillborn son, setting off events that lead to the end of the Harmons as we know them. Ben, who as a psychiatrist should know better, uses Vivien’s trauma and slow recovery as an excuse to cheat, bringing in the horror of infidelity and mistrust to his marriage. Violet, Ben and Vivien’s daughter, isn’t immune either. Her parents’ fucked up relationship causes her to lash out, which is probably the greatest horror of them all–teenage rebellion. This sets her up perfectly to catch the eye of Tate, a disturbed teen with homicidal fantasies. As the ghosts in the house have yet to be proven real to the Harmons, Tate’s Columbine-like desires are the one thing that truly terrifies Ben.

Misc:

  • Violet’s clothing in this episode seem a bit dated to me. She dresses how I wanted to dress in the mid to late 90s, but never had the guts to.
  • Ben is the absolute worst psychiatrist and I have no idea how he made all that money back East.
  • For someone who is in to all natural things and is wary of strange things being put in her body, Vivien sure did light that sage quickly and without question.

The Worst Witch

M and I finished AHS Coven a week or so ago and I am so, so, so disappointed at all the wasted potential. I was very excited when Coven was announced; witches have been my thing since I was very small and a show about witches set in one of my favorite cities? With Jessica Lange returning and Angela Bassett appearing? What could go wrong?

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Apparently everything.

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I know, Myrtle, I know. But you know they did you dirty. You were hands down the best part of the season. You’ll always be the Supreme of my heart.

This is what they should have done:

Cut out Madame LaLaurie. Kathy Bates is awesome. Kathy Bates as Madame LaLaurie was awesome. I mean, she did give us some great lines.

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But Murphy & Co really didn’t know what to do with her other than to use her as justification for slavery torture porn, which was unnecessary. So I would have cut her out completely. But where does the tension between Marie and the other witches come from? Easy. Have Queenie originally come from Marie’s camp. She could have been Marie’s protégé, on her way to becoming a powerful Voodoo Queen in her own right, when the powers of Salem come calling. Curious about her new powers and probably knowing Marie will never step down, Queenie joins up with the Robichaux’s witches and that pisses Marie off. Epic power battle begins.

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(I mean, look at this fabulousness. I wouldn’t want to piss of the woman underneath that fantastic fro)

I also would have either cut out the witch hunter storyline or introduced it earlier in the season. As it stands, that plot line was tied up too neatly. I find it really hard to believe that there weren’t any other witch hunters and this one corporation had the monopoly on witch hunting.

I would have left out the Kyle-Zoe-Madison love triangle snoozefest. Kyle was completely unnecessary to the story, but if they had to have some sort of teenage romance going on, they should have left him alive. Let Zoe try to navigate having an alive boyfriend with that deadly vagina of hers, while trying to keep the fact that she’s a witch secret. Much more interesting.

I also would have given Stevie Nicks something better to do. Poor lady.

More Myrtle Snow. I love her. She’s wonderful and wonderfully creepy playing the Theremin in the greenhouse.

Jesus Mom and son only get to stay if it sets up Nan to be the Supreme. She seemed to have the most growth out of all the girls and, really, she didn’t deserve to be drowned in a bathtub. She’s probably happy hanging out with Papa Legba, though. Dude knows how to party.

Delia in no way earned her Supremacy. She was easily the weakest witch in the house: marrying a witch hunter, getting blinded, not teaching the girls any magic, letting her charges run roughshod over her, letting her mother run roughshod over her. She had no backbone to her at all and couldn’t stand up for herself. She could have easily stayed on as headmistress for the school because that’s about the only thing she was good for. And not even that really because it didn’t seem like there were any lessons going on at the school. Just a lot of cat-fights and killings and name callings and baby snatching (won’t someone please go to the attic to rescue that poor baby from Spaulding? They have to know she’s there, right? Right?!)

In spite of my disappointment with this season, I’ll still watch the next. I love horror anthologies and this is pretty much all we have on tv right now. AHS Murder House is still my favorite, although I’ll be giving Asylum another go since I didn’t finish it.

A Purpose, perhaps

I need to do something with this space other than purging all of my late-night brain droppings. That would be rather depressing and not much of a fun read. Many of the shows I watch are either on hiatus or are just now coming back so they can air their season finales, so there’s not much point in blogging about them until they come back for new seasons.

While browsing Netflix last Friday, I saw American Horror Story had both seasons available for streaming. I love season one and gave up on season two midway through. Being a newly minted, sleep deprived mother didn’t help me get through season two at all. I’m thinking of re-watching both seasons and discussing the “horror” themes found in each episode, perhaps culminating in a post about the overall theme of each season. This actually seems like a daunting task when I write it out like this, but it’s not like I have anything else going on at the moment.